Bloody Rages

Tim is a non-verbal, autistic, severely behavioural young man.  He is 5'11", and 240 lbs.  He is brother to an older sister, and son to me, (Karen) and Michael, my husband.  He is a complete puzzle to me right now, and I've known him my whole life.

Previously he has always manageable, Tim has been able to go out for supper (he loves to eat, especially sushi), long car trips (8-9 hours is not unusual), and on most outings we go on.  What he dislikes but can tolerate is grocery shopping, visiting with friends, and shaving. Tim has throughout his life, been prone to tantrums, which is understandable because he has no language, and we really don't know what he is thinking most of the time. We have had help for him since he was diagnosed at the age of 18 months.

From the age of 3-6, Tim attended a full day preschool for children with autism. At that point the tantrums were mostly task avoidance, and some surrounding denied request. At 6 he began in public school, but the behaviors escalated as untrained teachers and aids didn't really know what to do with him. He has always been able to read inexperience and walk all over it.

At 9 he began in a private school for children with autism, where he has been until the end of June. In September he will start an adult day program run by the same organization. This school specializes in teaching tasks by breaking them up into a series of small steps. This has been helpful to Tim, as it suits his learning style. Despite all this intervention, communication has been a huge struggle. He didn't get sign, PECs, proloquo or any of the other things we have tried over the years.  He just doesn't seem to understand language. He does gesture and guide us toward the physical things he wants, but other than that, his communication is very limited.

So that brings me to the point of my first post. Tantrums.  But now they are rages. With screaming, pounding on doors, bloody hands, and visits from police. He wrings his hands, opens the sores and spreads blood on the doors and walls as he pounds on them.  It's really loud and very scary.  If one tries to intervene, and no one who knows him well does, he will pull their hair, 

He has been having these more serious rages more frequently, as many as 5 per week. He is seeing a psychiatrist who specializes in adults with developmental disablities and their mental health. We are on a trial of a medication. The first medication made everything much worse, but with this one we are seeing improvements.

Today I cried after I picked him up from camp at 9:45.  They were supposed to go boating, which Tim loves. While he was asked to wait for the bathroom, he started a rage, where he was put in a room by himself, with staff watching through the window as he dumped cooking oil all over the place and himself. Within an hour at home, he was back to the sweet version of Tim. Wanting tickles, helping with carrying laundry and watching Disney movies.  But he should be in camp, on a boat.  And I should be at home, not supervising my 20 year old as he watches Leroy and Stitch, and enjoying the last few days of summer holiday I have left as a teacher.  I am not rested, and I am not ready to go back to school. To quote Linda Ronstadt, "Poor, poor, pitiful me."